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If ‘Water’ is about panic attacks then ‘Playing Dead’ is about the anxiety and depression that they stem from. Now, I don’t want to come across all bleeding heart about this. Yes, these are things I suffer from. No, I’m not the only person that suffers from them. Yes, I deal with them. One of the ways I deal with them is through writing music. There’s nothing like seeing a tiny spark of inspiration shape itself (with some work on my part) into something real. It really does help me. Anyway, around the time that these issues were quite new to me, I opened up to a few friends about it. I told them what I’d been going through, they listened. They gave me their advice, I listened. Despite the conversations being quite awkward, they were necessary and definitely helped. This song is about opening up to someone close to you about something like anxiety and how it’s affecting you recently. This song went through about 4 music and lyric changes before it became what it is now. It was such a tricky thing to write about that I didn’t want to just do a ‘I Went To Parts’ (from my previous E.P ‘Coloured Out’) ‘Part Two’. Some of the lyrics I had before seemed to come across like I was almost avoiding the subject matter. Whereas one winter’s afternoon whilst I was recording the album in the spare room of the house I share with my girlfriend, these lyrics just fell out of me. The lyric “What am I so sad about” is genuinely something I ask myself on a weekly basis. Maybe you’re going through something similar. I beg you, speak to someone. You’re never alone.
There’s a lot of organisations that put all their resources into helping people but I’d recommend:
I know what you’ll say but I’m not gonna stay for too long
I don’t wanna drink cuz I hate what I think when I’m gone
And I can’t remember the last time I felt I was feeling better than what I feel now
I’ve been playing dead since the day I was left to myself I know how it sounds but I can’t keep it down in my shell
So call me a liar
Call me what you want
I have no desire to try prove you wrong
What am I so sad about?
Wish I could figure all this out before it’s too late
What am I still crying for?
It’s never been this bad before
Happiness better be worth the wait
You know what I’ll say, something like “I won’t stay for too long”
But make sure I don’t find my own way back home cuz I’m not
In the best mindset
You probably know
I shouldn’t be inside of my room all alone