1. |
Chaos > Order
03:20
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Tonight, I’m not leaving well enough alone
We’ve fallen for this fiction that we’re even to the bone
I’m tired of screaming to the same incessant beat
Maybe if we rearranged this place we’d find some space to breathe
Face it, it hurts to learn you’ve been wrong all this time
A process that’s as fragile as dismantling the mind
I don’t claim the answers
But you’re made of straw
If you know what’s right then tell me why the ocean’s near the shore
It can’t be creation with no sign of intent
So wrapped up in your “living proof” that dies as you dissent
Revolt?
You’ve too much faith in those who seek control
With eyes wide
Focussed on the receiving end of lies
Is this in reaction to distractions that are made to amplify?
I understand the anger but your candour, jeez, you must be fucking high
I’ve given up, tonight!
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2. |
Apertures
04:20
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“In a world of Sheep, I’m with the Lions”
Is that the hill you wanna die on?
Do you see yourself as a martyr?
'Cause according to the performance piece
You preach about how you want peace
But I think it’s a war that you’re after
Talk is cheap and it all adds up
So either walk the walk or pass the buck
But you can’t cash in on compassion
Keep pinning the needles of irony
Then drag the lake for some new philosophy
I’m starting to see it’s a pattern
Suspicious of the glamorous
You know who you are
Enthralling to the camera
But hiding your heart
Write a list of the things you’re mad about
And take it all out on the world
Keep running your mouth with all your friends around
We’ll see how this plays itself out
Suspicious of the glamorous
You know who you are
Enthralling to the camera
But hiding your heart
Conditioned in a fallacy
Make haste while you’re young
The product of insanity
Mistaken for love
I saw you sat above your station
Thought I should try approach you first
But you ignored each and every invitation
And I learned
That you’re not looking for a conversation
No, you just wanna be heard
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3. |
John Goodman
04:24
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3:15’s lost its charm in sweet seclusion
The ringing of a false alarm for my own amusement
‘Demi Moore’ on the first go round
I can’t wait for ‘Georgia’
Something quiet just to keep me down
Whilst trying not to call you
By the time the drugs wear off I’ll become the clinic
Another sentence that I’ll have to start
But one of which I know I’ll never ever…
Every time I die a little inside
Put pity on a pedestal to counteract the chemical high
Where is the fun in when it kicks in?
When I’ve been down for so much less than this
Chasing the tail of terrible things
Circle back to where to the conscience is
I focus on the wall
The wall, it gazes back
Guess I was never alone at all
I’m a passenger in the backseat of my head
A sore sight for sorry eyes displayed on the bed
Any accident means a last will and testament
But keep it secret ‘cause I don’t want to know how it ends
You’re a calendar crossing days out you’d rather forget
Every time I die a little inside
Put pity on a pedestal to counteract the chemicals
Heavy lies the hedonistic moron
Dizzy but impenetrable
Too far gone to sleep it all off
Every distraction left on repeat
Back at the trash burning on the beach
7 isn’t where I want to be
Things were so much better at just gone 3:00
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4. |
You & Yours
03:34
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Look how she’s grown
You said that I don’t know the half of it
The broken home
And whatever comes after it
I heard the news
Of death, divorce and disarray
And your tattoos
That somehow numb out all the pain
Now it kills me to say that I’ve been wrong about you all this time
And though you look just like your father
You’ve always had your mothers’ eyes
I just wanted you to know that you’ll never learn to grow
Without giving it some fight
But you went head to head with disaster
And still came out the other side
Was it like you thought it’d be?
Or did the walkout hurt like hell?
The good, the bad and the in-between
For a small part of yourself
Been this way since seventeen
I can picture you there
After all, it’s in the magazines
It’s not as if they’re going anywhere
But I’m still having flashbacks
They scare me to death
The sight of the abstract art that looked like scars from your waist
To the foot of the bed
Look how you’ve grown
You said I should’ve seen the worst of it
But if I’d have known
I don’t think I would’ve cared one bit
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5. |
Silver
04:02
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Disheartened by dos whilst compelled by the don’ts
Enabled the habit and left it to grow
Reminded each day by the ache and the tone
Sixteen years waiting patiently
When will my heart return to me?
Is this all worth the ephemeral rush?
A great love affair slowly exposed as lust
When every step forward ends back at square one,
Do I still go for gold or is it time to give up?
I can’t give this up!
So much to write but so little left to say
Always a “next time”, never a “right away”
Sixteen years waiting patiently
When will my mind return to me?
Countdown from ten then let it out
Silver will have to do for now
It’ll do somehow…
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6. |
disco_beat_2020.mp3
04:02
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Poured out my heart into a little blue container
And sold the rest of me for spare parts
I split the atom into 3 just to see what could be
With no idea of just what I had done
Immortalised my disdain; rhyming couplets, grouped phrase
Lost a vital sign at every turn
Replaced the melancholic with hope that you’d be watching
Never thought about the consequence
Then came the madness without the good half
In a business of magnets, we’re both sides of the same charge
Please be honest with me, you know I can take it
As bad as we thought it was, I bet it’s worse, we just forgot
100,000 hours takes its toll on us all, like it or not
Round and round and around again
A feedback loop playing in my head
The simple sound of a single vow to keep
Round and round and around again
Dust off the old naïveté
Give the quantum gravity
Would rather cause a scene than be nothing
Now I’ve changed from what I used to be
A misremembered memory
As if it would ever change the way you’d think about me
Round and round and around again
A feedback loop playing in my head
The simple sound of a single vow to keep
Round and round and around again
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7. |
Fire
04:08
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Fell asleep in the TV light
Now it’s seven years gone
Awoke to find I’ve been tongue tied all along
Afraid of what I hid deep inside
But I’m not scared anymore
These are the things that I wish I’d said before
It’s not right that you would start a trial by fire when I was still getting help
Trying to remember those embers whilst forgetting myself
I’ve started making up excuses instead of facing up to the truth
That the days I spent defending could’ve been better spent forgetting you
Little agony of my life
I do my best to ignore
Can we strike up a deal where you leave mine and I’ll stay the hell away from yours?!
See, it’s not like I did this on my own but I never came to you for a thing
Cos you were far too busy to notice the state I was in
Then you told me you still loved me when I moved half the country away
I’ll never forgive you for that
Don’t want to hear if you’re sad about it, it’s too late
The good old days are done and they weren’t that great for me anyway
I wasted way too long playing your wicked games
Look how the tables turn
Your world’s on fire now let that motherfucker burn
Save yourself, rebuild but don’t return
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8. |
Me & Mine
02:10
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History defeats itself
If you can’t afford the fee,
Remove yourself from the tree
Sister that I almost had
How old would you be,
If you’d not made way for me?
Alive in hypotheticals
But never say a word
Would your voice sound much like hers?
Reposition all light to the stairs
I swear I saw a figure standing there
Confused your face with someone else I know
And it shows that I don’t know yours
Mystery beside myself
Untangle all your time
Steal a piece from me and mine
Is this all you’ll ever be,
Just something left behind?
Who the hell are they to decide?
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9. |
Everything, All At Once
03:54
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The 11th hour revealed itself again
As the second hand ignored it’s advances
It settled in and cut the oxygen
What good is a breath with no second chances?
If all roads lead home; where is he now?
If your words implode then say them out loud
That call changed everything, all at once
I could tell by the way you stopped yourself
In an attempt to justify the imbalance
It’s not like you to ask for help
Fight/Flight, this all ends the same then it’s curtains
A night light by way of the moon
Here the memories lay and weigh like a burden
Time will make it’s move as it cycles through
Bring it in before it breaks
Love is a catastrophe when it doesn’t bend your way
Face to face with mortality
Sound replacing shape
If all roads lead home; where is he now?
If your words implode then say them out loud
Fight/Flight, this all ends the same then it’s curtains
A night light by way of the moon
Here the memories lay and weigh like a burden
Time will make it’s move as it cycles through
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10. |
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Love of mine,
It still makes me nervous when you take the worst of me in stride
And look me in the eyes and say you’re with me on purpose
No hint of uncertainty or lies
But I don’t trust my senses
They make me defensive every time
And leave me seeing technicolour in black and white
Timeless one,
Please tell me that it’s real
Oh how can six years feel like six months?
I’m frightened to ask in case I’m faced with a red pill
I don’t see the appeal in waking up
I’m done with this lack of inertia
I wanna reverse or I’ll run out of luck
Before we get too far can we start this all over?
I blame those goddamn kids
That will the days away
With their sex, drugs and music that I swore was just a phase
No, it’s not like it was back when we were like them
Are we doomed to relive the cliches our parents set?
Well, we’re not there yet…
I don’t need forever,
Whatever that means
Just one day at a time’s enough if you are there with me
Won’t beg for salvation
Give the devil his due
It’s worth it if this guaranteed existence is with you
Looking up,
Is so hard to explain when I see your face in every star
You’re closer to god(s) than me but you can take their place
Cos you’ve had my blind faith from day dot
So what if it’ll never be perfect
I wouldn’t prefer it if it was
You’re still the light that guides my way home in the dark
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